just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
