why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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