I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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