Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
