I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
