i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
