I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
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I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize