New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Moan for me like Helen Keller
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
