He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
