Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
PANTIES FOUND
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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