Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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