There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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