I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize