It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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