what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
