I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
