he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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