Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
