I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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