So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
