What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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