Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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