Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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