my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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