Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize