I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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