i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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