Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
