i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
