you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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