I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
