I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
