I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I believe in your delicious
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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