i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
