That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
