This girl is more easily done than said...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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