You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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