where am i from again
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
