at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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