What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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