I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
