I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
