forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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