Can i not drive my cunt home
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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