I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
