how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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