I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
