Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
