I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
