I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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