Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
