I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
