From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So much Jack, so little girl.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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