it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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