can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My dad is sitting where you rode me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
