she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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