Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
