So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
