check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
